an imagination that has no limit....

tonight i delved into the wonderful mysterious world of little girls.... what gleeful, spontaneous, imaginative minds such little ones have.... in the deepest parts of my heart i longed to once again have such a creative, imaginative mind which would catapult me into worlds now unknown to me..... worlds of splendor and make believe, of rescuers and heros, of being able to bring fires and food and animals into existance out of nothing....

i spent the evening at some friend's home who had invited several other people over for a turkey dinner... yeah!! thanksgiving in august!!

five little girls under the age of 5 were running aroud in princess dresses, fingernail polish, and pretend adventures.... and it wasn't long before (to my delight!!) i was asked to play along.... while the adults kept there conversations going, i snuck away and was wisked off into a make believe land... i was given a new name - "sapphire," told i was the older sister, and suddendly was cupping my hands around unseen blueberries and herbs.... fighting fires and rescuing my darling little girls from the floodwaters... pretending to be on an airplane flying to japan... and nursing the pretend sick back to health.... what a sweet, sweet time of letting my mind go places that i haven't been to in 25 years....

for those of you who know me... i'm far from being girlie-girl. but oh.... my heart's longing was to be in a princess dress, to be able to truly see the blueberry pancakes and taste the make-believe maple syrup. where has that creativity and imagination gone? i know it's somewhere.... there's something so refreshing about re-visiting that part of your mind.... little girls are amazing... i watched two of the little girls hover next to a mother changing one of the baby's diapers... they were absorbing every move.... staying close, watching what was being done.... it was so precious.... and i could see how as little girls they were drawn to caretaking and nurturing..... there is something innate in us women even as little girls.... something that wants to mother.... to take care of ... to make beautiful..... it's in us.

and how often do i fight it? i try to be the tough girl who doesn't need to lean on someone else.... ms. independent. ms. do-it-myself. ms. tomboy.... oh, i cherish my tomboy childhood, but i also long to be that little girl who will make things beautiful.... dare i say, that i might reconsider the five boys i've always wanted... maybe it would be okay to have some little girls some day....

ah sigh.... alas, i think the book 'captivating' is catching up with me. i'm learning.... truly i'm trying to learn... learning what it means to allow my feminine side to come forth... not hide behind a toughness.... it's hard to explain .... but it's part of a personal journey i'm taking into the deeper side of me.... sounds kinda serious, eh? well, may the journey be filled with many more creative, imaginative moments that wisk me off to unknown places....