plagued by guilt....

ahhhh .... sigh.... i'm a bad student. ;) most of us know that sick naggin' feeling that haunts us, reminding us that a task is on hand..... i keep trying to justify my inability to focus on my final papers and capstone project for my MA degree. most days i resort back to the line "oh, i work better under pressure!" but i know that i can't do that for these two CAP papers and final capstone paper. so, every day i think about my projects, but don't sit down to do anything about them... okay, i mean, i really have been trying to keep my head above water with all the politics and activities at work, and when i come home in the evening, the last thing i want to do is sit and study. bad student, i say, bad student!!
the thing is that i'm waking up in the middle of the night full of thoughts about these papers.... so, i've started keeping pen and paper handy just to write these ideas down. sigh..... you know, the kicker is that i really want to find a great topic for my final capstone, but am having an awful hard time thinking this through.... think i need some help to sort through all these thoughts in my head and put something down on paper.

CHANGE IN TOPIC
i spent a delightful weekend outside. yesterday (saturday) i worked in my garden, mowing, mulching, and planting.... and enjoying the gorgeous day. and today i went horseback riding with my friend, cynthia. another gorgeous day and wonderful to once again be sitting in an english saddle and smelling like horse. what a great weekend it was!! i actually felt somewhat relaxed and ready to tackle this coming week.